Staab and Kier - Mortuary and Remembrance Services

The mortuary not only disposes of those who have passed on for a minimal fee from the state, but also provides memorial services for a hefty fee. While most Fairfield citizens still prefer (mostly due to cost) to hold funerary services at the home, the prominently wealthy of Shippan and Stamford will often pay for special services to be held. While arranged and sometimes catered by the mortuary, the actual service is always held elsewhere, such as a rented hall or the Shippan Community Park.

Cremation services are also available, for an even higher fee. Cremations are not done on site, however. Instead, the body is shipped to Bridgeport and the ashes returned; the process takes about 4 days.

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Funerary Costs

Disposal $5 exactly what it sounds like
Basic burial $20 basic casket
ice-bath, no embalming
Home assistance $30 basic casket
embalming and makeup
Deluxe home package $35 + cost of casket ($10-$1000*) quality casket
embalming and makeup
home prep (black sheets, mirrors covered, etc.)
Funeral Service $100 + cost of casket quality casket
embalming and makeup
location prep
minister of choice to deliver eulogy
Catered Funeral $250 + cost of casket quality casket
embalming and makeup
location prep
minister of choice to deliver eulogy
food and drinks
Cremation $200 + cost of urn ($10-$500**)
Cremation Service $350 + cost of urn quality casket
embalming and makeup
location prep
minister of choice to deliver eulogy
food and drinks
*Caskets $100+ are special order and must be purchased in advance.
**Urns $50+ are special order and must be purchased in advance.

Game Play Information

The establishment is run by Mr. Jeremy Kier. Mr. Kier is a rotund man, and wears nice dress clothes that accentuate his round belly. His cheeks are plump and red. His brown hair is short, and lays flat against his head, parted in the middle. He always displays a pleasant, good-natured, yet dignified manner.

They provide dignified services for the recently departed, from simple “disposal” to elaborate memorials.

The Building

The building is oblong-shaped, roughly 120′×40′. The entry opens into a large 40′×40 waiting room with plush chairs and couches, and small round tables with vases full of cut flowers. Beautiful landscape paintings hang on the walls. The interior is lit by oil-lamp sconces. A locked door is to the right.

A locked door to the right opens into a showing room 30′×40′ that contains a collection of urns, caskets, and frames. Cremation is not actually done here; instead, the body is shipped to Bridgeport and the ashes returned. Two doors are on the far wall, evenly spaced.

The grounds to the building are open, except for a small iron-fence and gate that encloses a 60′×60′ area of the back grounds. The gate is locked with a heavy chain and expensive padlock. The fencing is capped with cruel sharp spikes. The yard is guarded by two vicious and well-trained guard dogs.

A 40′×40′ storage shed lies within, butted up next to the building. To the right of the shed is a door to the building. The shed’s doors are also locked. The interior walls are lined with cedar, and several dried garlic ropes hang on each wall. Inside are stacks of crates containing bottles of saline, embalming fluids, wax, cloths, and various long poles, tables, banners, draperies, etc. Near the center of the far wall covered by piles of drapes and mixed in with a bunch of other random boxes is a 3′×2′×2′ high shipping crate with a Romanian shipping label. This box is full of soil and weighs 225 lbs.

Mr. Kier and the coroner (Dr. Orkliff) have regularly done business together, but are currently at an impasse. The last shipment for Dr. Orkliff was much heavier than anticipated, so shipping costs were much greater ($72). Dr. Orkliff refuses to pay anything except the agreed upon price ($50), which Mr. Kier refuses to accept because he will actually lose money on the deal. Therefore, the crate is still sitting in his storage shed – a small building in the back grounds area of the property.

Staab and Kier - Mortuary and Remembrance Services

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